ARNA TALKS TO JACI ROGASH COACH, WRITER & SPEAKER
Jaci is a Certified Transformation Coach, Writer and Speaker who works with high functioning women who have faced trauma or significant adversity in the past that affects the way they live their life today. She helps her clients overcome their negative self-talk, build better relationships (with themselves and others) and start believing in themselves so they can clear the roadblocks holding them back from living the life they dream of and discover a genuine happiness they've never known. Jaci also works at one of Australia's largest University's as an Investigation and Risk Assessment officer where deals with problem and threatening behaviour.
Jaci supports victims of sexual assault, family violence, stalking and other threatening behaviour. After spending 6.5 years in the police force, Jaci knew her calling was to help and support women as they move through their past pain to live a life that allows them to thrive, which led her to coaching. Jaci's work has been published in Thrive Global and Harness Magazine and she has been interviewed on several podcasts.
Tell us a bit about yourself and what you do? What's your purpose?
I grew up in a country Victoria with my parents and two older brothers and had a really good childhood, which also led to my love of the outdoors. Every school holidays we would go camping, we travelled a lot of Australia, went snow skiing every year and just had a lot of fun. I was raped when I was 15, which led me to a deep depression, suicide attempts and feeling so alone because I didn't tell anyone what happened. I went from a straight A student to not caring about anything and not wanting to live.
I led a pretty destructive life from 18-22 while I subconsciously sabotaged all areas of my life. This also included entering a relationship with a narcissist and being the victim of family violence when I was 21. I didn't realise it at the time, but this relationship really impacted my future relationships. I joined the police force when I was 23 because I wanted to help people. I loved it, but now realise I had developed a really tough exterior. I lived life in cycles - for 6 months or so I'd be this super outgoing extrovert with no problems in the world, doing 'all ' the things, with all the friends - then I would completely crash for a couple of weeks, contemplate suicide, isolate myself and wait for it to pass. In 2016, my past and destructive behaviour came back to haunt me and I had to leave the police force.
I had no idea who I was because I had moulded my identity as a police officer. If I couldn't be a police officer, what could I do. It was only then that I realised I had to address all of the hurt and pain from my past in order to heal. I've spent the last 4 years on an incredible journey of personal development and inner growth, connected with myself, created spiritual practices and am so happy with who I am as a person.
I now have my own life coaching business and am working as an investigator at one of Australia's largest Universities. Both of these roles allow me to truly help people from a place of love, kindness and compassion.
Every session with a client completely refuels me because I get to witness other women step into their power and see their own potential. I get to help people and it is completely selfless work. My purpose is to help as many people move through their trauma and learn to love themselves as I can. That's what I want my impact on the world to be.
What is something you've learned about yourself this year?
Well 2020 has been an interesting year for everyone. I think the biggest lesson for me personally is that the inner work never stops, it just looks a little different every time you have to work through something. We all have a past, we all have old habits and we all have an ego. When tough times arise, our shadow comes out to play and it shows us another layer of work that needs to be done. I've also learnt the power of having an incredible inner circle, that don't shy away from deeper conversations. I crave connection and deep conversations. I also no longer see these incredible people as competition, they just inspire me to be better every day and to never give up.
What do you love about yourself?
When we do reach gender equality, what does this world look like to you?
The world will be a place where everyone is equal, and not just gender, I'm talking colour and sexuality as well. There will be no discrimination and no bias. It's a world where people truly support each other, encourage each other and support each other. In the workforce, the best person gets the job. But not only that, it's where the same traits in different people are viewed the same way. There's this reverse sexism where women who are strong, confident and speak their mind are seen as 'arrogant upstarts' in the workforce, yet men with the same traits are seen as 'awesome blokes'. I've also see other women in management become over masculine and undermine other women who they feel challenged by. All of this would no longer exist.
What do you believe are the behaviours that hold women back?
I think women hold ourselves back because we either aren't connected to who we truly are, we've been influenced by external factors and beliefs or we've been hurt and we now live in 'protection' mode, which means we play it safe and choose (whether consciously or subconsciously) to 'fit in', put others first and just survive. It all comes down to fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of being hurt. Fear of being successful. Fear of failure.
What has been your boldest move to date?
What's your call to action for women?
To start making YOU your biggest priority. Stop putting everyone else's needs and happiness before your own, and start putting your own happiness and fulfilment first. To be your own best friend and support yourself like you would your friends - whatever that looks like. Also, to allow yourself to truly feel whatever it is you need to, and then move through it with curiosity.