The branding of, I’m single.
As young women in the 21st century, we’ve come to a time where there is more equality for us than we’ve ever seen. We now work in the same way men do, we earn our own money, we can have children on our own, live on our own and just be more ourselves than ever. Don’t get me wrong it’s not equal yet and there’s work to do, but we’ll get there.
Let’s talk about the concept of single. It’s a branded word, a dirty word, almost like the word slut. I’ve heard women use it feeling utterly disappointed with themselves. Or, I’ve heard women ask of other women, ‘are you still single?’ And then, say in a sorry tone, ‘don’t worry, you’ll find someone, dating is tough.’ We brand women single when she’s young and then we brand her again when she’s somewhere over 40 to spinster. But, we don’t brand men this way.
For the women who do feel negatively single, let me ask you, why? Is it because you just really want to find the love of your life? Are you bored, are you lonely or are you just not facing yourself? What was it the Sunscreen song says, ‘the journey is long but in the end, it’s only with yourself.’
Have you ever noticed that all advertising and marketing around ‘singleness’ is aimed at women? Just Google ‘single’ and go look at the images, you’ll see what I mean. It’s no mistake that it’s like this. It’s a construct in a patriarchal world that gets us here, I think. But what if we changed the conversation? What if we made it less about finding the prince and more about finding ourselves. What we want to do with our lives, what’s our purpose? Connection with people is so incredibly important but if we had many, meaningful connections couldn’t that be amazing?
How do change this construct? Maybe it’s just one independent woman at a time, owning her own life, owning her purpose, doing whatever the hell she wants and enjoying it while she’s at it.
Ladies, let’s take back the word single. To me, it’ll mean independent, strong, able to make my own way, knowing myself. What will single mean to you?